THE MISSING PEACE.
We can have a successful career, a smashing workout routine, meditate every day, your administration filed in alphabetical order and three types of Epsom bath salt in your bathroom: when there is no love, a lot of you will agree, it can feel like something is missing. Do we need to hop on tinder or hit up a mediocre old flame to reach this place of fulfilment? No, luckily, quite the opposite. I am referring to a different kind of love. This is a solitary quest. An inside job and I have not found anything it cannot be applied to. I am talking about the revolutionary act of self-love.
Whatever you are willing to aspire, achieve or be: loving your self is the one thing you can start doing right now that will have a positive effect on it all. There’s a quiet confidence when you love yourself that radiates way further than physical appearance or outside achievements or any phantom of perfection ever will. There's another law of attraction that makes you magnetic to people as well as opportunities. Let me break it down for you: here are a few things I have found helpful.
1. WATCH YOUR WORDS.
Very often, we don’t notice how we speak to ourselves, about ourselves. Without even being aware of it, we constantly judge ourselves, creating entrapping limit beliefs that paralyze us on our way to happiness. Great things will happen when you start gifting yourself kinder words. The vibration of love might just be the highest of all, therefore elevating all the lower.
Act of self-love: meditate to silence your inner critic and observe thoughts and feelings, not identifying with them. Affirmations work wonders too, especially when practised daily. It may feel awkward at first, reminding yourself of your value, but trust me, this is powerful. This is doing the work yourself so that you don't have to look outside for approval.
2. HAVE YOUR GO-TO SELF CARE RITUALS.
This one is also about self-respect. You know best what works for you. Not only will good-for-you indulging raise your vibration by itself, but you will also prove to yourself that you are worthy of taking out the time and space - sacred space, if you will. Being intentional of how you spend your time and how you treat your body and mind is an essential mechanism that will set the tone as to how you position yourself in your life. Remember: how you treat yourself is how others will treat you too. Respect is contagious.
Act of self-love: this is super personal - it can be big, it can be small. Splurging on a massage or a night out can hit the spot sometimes, but you might want it on a more fundamental basis too. Think a morning routine where you have your coffee and newspaper before the world wakes up, or arranging your closet every now and then, or going to the market every Tuesday. Having your favourite green juice. Your traditional Saturday workout. It can be anything, just make sure you have your little toolbox at the ready and don't underestimate the effects.
“Don't wait for it,” I said. “Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. Create. And then love will come to you, then it comes to you. It was only when I wrote my first book that the world I wanted to live in opened up to me”.
- Anais Nin
3. CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD.
Chasing dreams is one of the most uplifting instruments I can think of. We all know that feeling of being in the zone, in a universal state of flow. Nothing can stop us there, you thrive in your happy place, and it will leave you with a more positive mind and a lighter heart. Take it from this (love) story on how Nathalie quit her job and started the Juicery. Doing what makes you happy strengthens you, your independence and your confidence.
Act of self-love: this can be a newfound appreciation of something you feel passionate about already, or going outside of your comfort zone and setting new intentions. Feel free to think big. Write down your goals and start taking steps into life's directions that will give you the most fulfilment. Visualize. Create habits that support your vision. Don't be afraid to opt for the stars.
4. DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.
Not all days will have you jump out of bed, wink at yourself in the mirror and whistle while you work - and that is totally okay. That doesn't mean you lack love, that means you are human. To think that you are the only person in the whole wide world to have no insecurities or bad days at all, is simply silly. Self-love starts with self-acceptance, whatever shape or form you come in today, so any darkness or negativity becomes non-destructive. Nothing more than the yin to your yang.
Act of self-love: make a conscious decision to recognize growing pains, and accept the natural flow of feelings. Don't try and change them. Just let them be. You will let them go of them when you are ready to. Self-acceptance is knowing you can be a masterpiece and a piece of work all at the same time.