Ah, the Great Feminine Divine. Lush and fluid, believe it or not, she flows through us all. You don’t have to be spiritual to believe in energies, and you don't have to be a girl to embody feminine energy. The word energy is a terminology, a word that embodies characteristics, a certain vibe which we find in something, or frequency in which something operates. When we speak of feminine and masculine energy, we speak of a polarity in dynamics, that is undoubtably there wherever we look.
Think of a city like New York. The masculine ‘go’ is active and disciplined, it’s your drive, your mind, your fire, the sun, summer, alive and kicking in one-pointedness. Then think of a place like Hawaii. The female element is ‘flow’, calm but in motion, an openness to the flow of nature and creativity and a connection to your intuition and emotions. She is the moon, your shadow-side, and like water, always moving.
We carry a balance of both, we find both in anything. We need both. In modern-day society, however, it’s easy to get thrown into the more masculine side of things. You'll see it on the work-floor, in your gym, in technology. The ‘get-up-and-go’-mentality, 'I shall do this all by myself and I shall do it now', can be a great tool to achieve certain goals, but without the female counterbalance, that mindset will cause a lot more stress than strength. It is proven that stress is the main cause of disease these days.
Feminine energy will soften that, get you out of your head and into your body. If you don't want to lose your grip and are scared you will lose focus this way, think of this: the secret to getting more done, often is slowing down. Here are a few ways to do so:
1. Connect to calm awareness. Find stillness in meditation, nature, and go seek the water. This element is always present somewhere, or at least it should be, to cool down the many fiery moments life offers us. You can have a walk alongside a canal or river, go to the ocean, even take a bath, and just observe, in the way you would observe your mind. This is essential.
2. Let you creativity flow. The force of creation is something feminine, women hold the power to create a life inside of them, and creativity is an emotional thing. It is not a set formula by any means. It needs to flow. Nurturing this part of you is healing by itself, whichever way it comes out, creative expression is a life force that, again, makes you connect to something bigger than your thoughts, mind, ego.
3. Allow yourself to be subjective. Especially men have been taught a wrong message. Feeling and expressing emotions is not a sign of weakness. At all. It just means you are alive and receptive to your intuition as well as adaptive to outside world. Every feeling is welcome, dark, light, high, low, they always have a function, they are your biggest teachers. Listen to them, objectively, and see how you can use this message to learn or let go.
4. Go with the flow. Stop fighting reality by accepting it how it is, not how you would like it to be. Inner peace also means total acceptance and letting go of control. It's the 'whatever you want, baby'-vibe that sometimes makes life a lot less complicated, and it may sound a little submissive compared to how we're used to think, but you'll know when to apply it, and you'll see how it works. Surrender is not the same as sacrifice.
5. Accept help from others. This is a sign of strength as well. You don't have to do it all by yourself. You don't need that kind of proof, who are you trying to be, and who are you doing it for? We are in this together! As the African proverb goes: "if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together".
6. Strengthen your confidence. Acknowledge your beauty, inside and out. You can accept compliments, because you know they are true, and so you don’t depend on them. The excessive need for external validation is something that usually stems from unresolved daddy issues (just saying), meaning a disbalance in male/female energies.
7. Dress the part. Your physical appearance is something that will add to your sense of self. Not in a way to seek attention or respect, but on the contrary, to offer it to yourself. Read here where you can find conscious clothing.
8. Foster female energy in your activities. It's not called Mother Nature for nothing. In the city, girls can have girls nights, mani-padis, or massages. Men can benefit from this too, naturally, but for those who don't necessarily want to groom and pamper themselves or hit the dance-floor with a cosmopolitan, it can be simple as cooking a meal, having a heart-felt conversation, reading a book. Anything that will make you slow down, calm your energy and connect to something on an intuitive level.
9. Create a sanctuary. A sacred space to draw yourself back in and regain energy. Female energy is winter. Time to recharge. Men can have their man-cave, but that too is a sacred space for them to recollect themselves. As a woman, creating your she-shed will really add to your ability to stand in your light. Buy yourself flowers. Light some candles. Burn some incense. Play some ambient music. This is your space and it will help you feel safe and grounded in every day life.
10. Breathe through it. If all else fails, whatever the external circumstance, however much stress or tension or having to push yourself is in your mind: you. always. have. your. breath. Connect to it. Deep belly breaths will help you lean into softness. It will guide you, wherever you want to go, whatever you need to do, to your heart energy and body intelligence. This stuff is real. Try it.