It’s happened to all of us. The dreaded breakup. And whether you are the breaker or the broken, it’s still inevitable that you’re going to have a lot of feelings. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Shock. Relief. They’re all possible, and they’re all normal.
No matter what you’re feeling, it is a great idea to grab your breakup by the horns and help maneuver your way through it in a healthy way. That way, you can get through it in your own time, in your own way, without any bad breakup haircuts. Keep reading for our top tips for tackling your recent split in the best way possible.
1. Determine whether you want to do no-contact. This one can be pretty tricky. It can definitely help in some situations to completely cut your ex out of your life, but in others, there is no harm in remaining friends, if not right away. Think about how long you were together, whether the breakup was friendly and whether you guys share friends. Either way, it’s important to take at least a little time apart to really think about what will serve you best.
2. Don’t head to your old favourite spots. It can be tempting to hit up “our coffee spot” or watch “our favourite movie”, but it’s not healthy. Try new places and new things to keep out of their line of fire and help build new pathways in your brain.
3. Accept your emotions, whatever they are. Take every feeling you have as it comes. Acknowledge it, deal with it and then let it go. No feeling is a bad feeling.
4. Allow yourself to wallow. At least for a while. It’s natural to want to be sad, to sit in your pyjamas and watch sappy films. But it’s also important to keep an eye on this behaviour and don’t get too entrenched in it. Take time to go out with friends for meals or walks in the park. See people! They’re also great for venting…
5. Take a look at your social media. More often than not, social media is not helping you move on from your breakup. Consider a short social media detox so you don’t spend hours checking if your ex watched your Instagram stories or posted pics of themself and a new bae on Twitter.
6. DO NOT make intense changes to your appearance. Or personality for that matter. Bangs. Purple highlights. New clothes. Diets. Whatever may seem like a good idea or a way to make you into the person that your ex may have wanted are not healthy. There is nothing wrong with you and absolutely NOTHING to fix. Love yourself, and others will love you too.
7. Sweep old energy out. Make yourself a happy (or wallow-y) new playlist and burn some sage. Rearrange some furniture. Bring new energy and new vibes into your life. This is a new phase. Embrace it!
8. Try something new. Particularly if it’s something your ex never wanted to do with you. Take up pottery or join a running group! Try a juice cleanse! This is your time to focus on yourself and what makes YOU happy. It’s not being selfish anymore, it’s self-care!
9. Think about therapy. And then give it a try. Therapy is not just for people who are “broken.” In fact, everyone can benefit from a little unbiased advice.
10. Also, just don’t. What do we mean here? Don’t hook up with your ex. Don’t start dating someone two days after. Don’t stand outside their window with a boombox. But do care for yourself, listen to yourself and allow yourself to feel it all. This, too, shall pass.