THE MISSING PEACE.
We can have a successful career, a smashing workout routine, meditate every day, administration filed in alphabetical order and three types of organic bath salt in your bathroom: when there is no love, a lot of you will agree, it can feel like something is missing. Do we need to hop on tinder or hit up a mediocre old flame to reach this place of fulfillment? No, luckily, quite the opposite. I am referring to a very specific kind of love. This is a solitary quest. An inside job. A magical tool, and I have not found anything that you can not apply it to. I am talking about the revolutionary act of self love.
Whatever you are willing to aspire, achieve or date: self loving is the one thing you can start doing right now that will have an impact on improving your life and finding peace of mind. There’s a quiet confidence when you love yourself that radiates way further than physical appearance or emotional togetherness or outside achievements or any phantom of perfection ever will. That’s another law of attraction, to people as well as to opportunities. Let me break it down for you: here's what I have found helpful.
1. WATCH YOUR WORDS.
Very often, we don’t notice how we speak to ourselves. Without being aware of it, we judge ourselves for thoughts or emotions we experience, creating entrapping limit beliefs that paralyze us on our way to happiness. Great things will happen when you start gifting yourself kinder words. The vibration of love is, in my opinion, the highest one out there, and therefore the antidote to all the lows. Fear, insecurity, doubt, loneliness, love truly does conquer it all, because when you can view these from a place of compassion, when you actively remind yourself that you are, indeed, loved, enough, worthy, in whatever shape, form or state you find yourself in, any darkness or negativity becomes non-destructive. You will realize it is just the yin to your yang, and the empowering thing about that is that you don't need any one other but yourself to get there.
Act of self love: meditate to silence your inner critic and observe thoughts and feelings. Affirmations work wonders too, especially when practiced daily. It may feel a little awkward at first to remind yourself of your value but trust me, there is something really powerful in doing the work yourself so that you don't have to look outside for approval.
2. HAVE YOUR GO-TO SELF CARE RITUALS.
This one is also about self respect. You know best what works for you. Not only will good-for-you indulging raise your vibration by itself, you will also proof to yourself that you are worthy of taking out the time and space - sacred space, if you will. Being intentional of how you spend your time and how you treat your body and mind is an essential mechanism that will set the tone as to how you position yourself in your life. Remember: how you treat yourself is how others will treat you too. Respect is contagious.
Act of self love: this is super personal - it can be big, it can be small. Splurging on a massage or a night out can really hit the spot sometimes, but you might want it on a more fundamental basis too. Think a morning routine where you have your coffee and newspaper before the world wakes up, or arranging your closet every now and then, or going to the market every Tuesday. Having your favourite green juice. Your traditional Saturday workout. It can be anything, just make sure you have your little toolbox at the ready and take it seriously.
“Don't wait for it,” I said. “Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. Create. And then love will come to you, then it comes to you. It was only when I wrote my first book that the world I wanted to live in opened up to me”.
- Anais Nin
3. CREATE YOUR OWN WORLD.
Chasing dreams is one of the most uplifting instruments on your way to happiness I can think of. We all know the feeling of being in the zone, in that universal state of flow. Nothing can stop us there, you thrive in your happy place, and it will leave you with a more positive mind and a lighter heart. Take it from this (love) story on how Nathalie quit her job and started the Juicery. Doing what makes you happy strengthens you and it strengthens your independence and confidence.
Act of self love: this can be a newfound appreciation of what you already have through gratitude, or setting new intentions, but feel free to think bigger. Write down your goals and and start taking (small) steps into life's directions that will give you the most fulfillment. Maybe even visualize it. Don't be afraid to opt for the stars.
4. STOP TAKING YOURSELF SO SERIOUSLY.
I'm sorry, I know I have been cheerleading you into celebrating every aspect of your being, but I do want to point something out here: not all days will have you jump out of bed, wink at yourself in the mirror and whistle while you work - and that is totally okay. Who are you, and why are you so special, to think that you are the only person in the whole wide world to not ever have any bad days at all? You can have as many as you need. You are only human! Yes, loving yourself is magic, and you deserve every second of it, but it is not going to transform you into the fairytale queen of confidence, who lives happily ever after all by herself. Of course you can think it sucks to be alone on Valentine's. Of course you will still have your fears and insecurities. But loving yourself should give you the patience and strength to be vulnerable and feel all those things, and you'll notice you will become way more resilient.
Act of self love: recognize growing pains, and accept the natural flow of feelings. Don't identify with them. Just let them be. You will let them go when you are ready to. Self acceptance is knowing you can be a masterpiece and a piece of work all at the same time.